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Alan Campbell
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Posted 14/06/2010 23:11:26
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Last Active: 04/02/2012 12:02:46
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Would that mean that Rob Green is an insect or a fumble bee.
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Fire Mist
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Posted 15/06/2010 14:01:59
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Group: Forum Member
Last Active: 02/02/2012 14:55:50
Posts: 523,
Visits: 738
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What did the Hat say to the Hatrack?You stay here, I'll go on a head.
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarnatee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors --Carl SchurzDarylee, 3°; (I am a women in Ohio, USA) Columbus,OH ; (Renaissance Lodge #5, Orient of Detroit)My posts are my personal opinions. The Opinions expressed herein don't represent the opinions of my Lodge, Grandlodge or any other Masonic jurisdiction. American Co-Masonry; The American Federation of Human Rights: http://www.co-masonry.org/
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Fire Mist
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Posted 15/06/2010 14:03:12
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Group: Forum Member
Last Active: 02/02/2012 14:55:50
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Visits: 738
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Why can't a bicycle stand by itself?Because it is two tired.
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarnatee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors --Carl SchurzDarylee, 3°; (I am a women in Ohio, USA) Columbus,OH ; (Renaissance Lodge #5, Orient of Detroit)My posts are my personal opinions. The Opinions expressed herein don't represent the opinions of my Lodge, Grandlodge or any other Masonic jurisdiction. American Co-Masonry; The American Federation of Human Rights: http://www.co-masonry.org/
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Tom Cherup
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Posted 16/06/2010 01:27:27
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Forum Moderator
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Last Active: Today @ 01:51:02
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Vintagemalt (12/06/2010)
I was in the supermarket the other day pushing my trolley around when I collided with a young bloke pushing his trolley.
I said to the young man, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young man says, "That's OK, it’s a coincidence, I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.
I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young man says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"
I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's just look for yours." .....
Most old blokes are helpful like that, specially Masons!
If i may correct you, and I should have stated when I first put online Lowes it's more of a "Man's" store. It's a warehouse open to the public of tools and builder supplies, landscaping, electrical, plumbing, etc.
Tom Cherup 32°
Olive Branch Lodge #542
Dearborn, Michigan
Scottish Rite - Valley of Detroit
Detroit Masonic Temple - It''s bigger than yours!
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Fire Mist
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Posted 16/06/2010 16:05:55
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Group: Forum Member
Last Active: 02/02/2012 14:55:50
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Or, Home Depot................... :w00t:================================= A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found, ' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?' . . . . . . . . .
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarnatee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors --Carl SchurzDarylee, 3°; (I am a women in Ohio, USA) Columbus,OH ; (Renaissance Lodge #5, Orient of Detroit)My posts are my personal opinions. The Opinions expressed herein don't represent the opinions of my Lodge, Grandlodge or any other Masonic jurisdiction. American Co-Masonry; The American Federation of Human Rights: http://www.co-masonry.org/
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Fire Mist
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Posted 22/06/2010 13:51:14
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Last Active: 02/02/2012 14:55:50
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Several men are in the locker room of a golf
club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free
speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room
stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at
the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new
2009 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They
will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50
thousand if it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him
in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarnatee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors --Carl SchurzDarylee, 3°; (I am a women in Ohio, USA) Columbus,OH ; (Renaissance Lodge #5, Orient of Detroit)My posts are my personal opinions. The Opinions expressed herein don't represent the opinions of my Lodge, Grandlodge or any other Masonic jurisdiction. American Co-Masonry; The American Federation of Human Rights: http://www.co-masonry.org/
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sojourner
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Posted 22/06/2010 15:03:57
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Group: Forum Member
Last Active: 05/02/2012 20:19:16
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A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said,"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.""What do you mean?" said the Pirate. "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the Pirate, "We were in a sea battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." The bartender replied,"Well OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" The Pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook, but I'm fine really." "What about the eye-patch?" enquired the bartender. "Oh," said the Pirate,"One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye." "You are kidding," said the barkeeper. "After all those battles, you couldn't lose an eye from a little bit of bird poop." "Ah," said the Pirate. "It was my first day with the hook."
Roy L."SELUME PROFERRE"
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Pilgrim
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Posted 29/06/2010 22:36:45
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Group: Forum Member
Last Active: 02/10/2010 10:01:29
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Have you ever noticed how it's only ever 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed these days?"He/She was the perfect son/daughter." "They were such a perfect couple." "The perfect family killed in tragic accident." Doesn't it make you glad you're a ****?
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Tom Cherup
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Posted 02/07/2010 22:32:19
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Forum Moderator
Group: Moderator
Last Active: Today @ 01:51:02
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Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Tom Cherup 32°
Olive Branch Lodge #542
Dearborn, Michigan
Scottish Rite - Valley of Detroit
Detroit Masonic Temple - It''s bigger than yours!
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Tom Cherup
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Posted 02/07/2010 22:36:38
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Forum Moderator
Group: Moderator
Last Active: Today @ 01:51:02
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A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times till her husband says... "Are you wearing crotch less panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat.
He never heard the gunshot.
Tom Cherup 32°
Olive Branch Lodge #542
Dearborn, Michigan
Scottish Rite - Valley of Detroit
Detroit Masonic Temple - It''s bigger than yours!
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